I was that side chick....
We live in a world today that has some pretty messed up values. Single life is actually considered the new "married". The terms "baby mama" and "baby daddy" are common place and not even criticized anymore. Marriage? That's a joke ! Who stays married anymore? If you get married that is considered more of a commitment than having a baby with someone. With that being said, it's no wonder this world thinks that having a "side chick" is okay.
I must have been doing it wrong all these years then! I would've been better off being someone's side chick than trying to be someone's girlfriend. I probably would've been better off that way because there are more perks to being a side chick than a girlfriend or wife any day huh? I mean I would get, money, clothes, sex, pretty much anything I wanted, all because I would be the side chick huh? Wrong. Let me clue you in on something. Being a side chick doesn't mean you get all the perks. I know because at one time...I was a side chick.
Yes I'm spilling a little bit of my dirty laundry. I'm not going to give details, but it's a part of my life that I'm not proud of at all. And just know that I didn't get any of the so called "perks" either. In fact it was the exact opposite. You see I'm not meant to have a hidden relationship. I wanted more and I figured that if I stayed in this capacity that eventually, I would get what i wanted. I have never been so wrong in my life. All I got was low self-esteem, and loneliness for all my troubles. I did't get any cash or fancy clothes. Occasionally I would get a free meal, but that was if we went out in public. Most of the time, it was something that happened in secret. A secret is what I was, a secret is what I became for years because, there was something about me. Something about me that he didn't want the world to know about. I'm not fat, I'm not ugly. I'm actually a well liked individual. But something about me had to remain behind closed doors. I never found out what that something was. To me now that I think about it, it's a blessing and a curse that I don't know.
So why am I revealing that I was once a side chick? Because I'm wanting to let you know that this type of behavior isn't cool. It's not going to lead to a happy ending. In fact, it just adds to your problems. I had a friend (we are no longer friends) who did this. She had an affair with a married man. He left his wife for her. They ended up with a blended family. Well they had children (a product of their affair) and one of the babies (she was pregnant with twins) died. The other baby almost didn't make it. Their marriage produced more problems than happiness. And to make matters worse, her now husband was frequently unfaithful. She in turn started having affairs of her own as well to get back at him. All while raising multiple children and trying to have a rocky marriage. I don't know what will happen with this couple if they will even make it. I had to distance myself from all of the drama because that's exactly what happens when you start off wrong. God doesn't bless a mess.
An example of this is the story of King David. David had an affair with Bathsheba. She was married to one of his top warriors. David got Bathsheba pregnant. He tried to have her cover the affair by sleeping with her husband again, but that didn't work. In order to cover the pregnancy, he had her husband killed. He married Bathsheba, but when their child was born, the child died soon after. David's house was never the same after that. You can't try to right a wrong with another wrong. God loves you so much and he wants so much more for you. You shouldn't play second string to someone else when there is someone out there for you.
You still aren't convinced huh? Well I'll let you in on something. I played that role off and on for almost 7 years. During that time because I wanted a relationship, I missed out on several relationships. It wasn't until I finally stopped that behavior that God blessed me with what I had been wanting all that time. I met the guy I plan on marrying. I'm no longer someone's second choice, but his first choice. I know that he doesn't have someone else on the side, and he's not trying to replace me either. It's a wonderful feeling because I know that considering where I have been and what I have went thru, it's amazing to know that I will have a happy ending.
You can too. Ladies, I encourage you to realize your worth. You are worth so much more than fancy clothes, money or even a trip. Your body is a temple and should be treated as such. God will bless you with all you desire if you go to Him. He will reward you and bring you someone who will love him and you so much. Yes it's possible. You can have happiness like that. You can have happiness like I'm experiencing now with my someone....
I must have been doing it wrong all these years then! I would've been better off being someone's side chick than trying to be someone's girlfriend. I probably would've been better off that way because there are more perks to being a side chick than a girlfriend or wife any day huh? I mean I would get, money, clothes, sex, pretty much anything I wanted, all because I would be the side chick huh? Wrong. Let me clue you in on something. Being a side chick doesn't mean you get all the perks. I know because at one time...I was a side chick.
Yes I'm spilling a little bit of my dirty laundry. I'm not going to give details, but it's a part of my life that I'm not proud of at all. And just know that I didn't get any of the so called "perks" either. In fact it was the exact opposite. You see I'm not meant to have a hidden relationship. I wanted more and I figured that if I stayed in this capacity that eventually, I would get what i wanted. I have never been so wrong in my life. All I got was low self-esteem, and loneliness for all my troubles. I did't get any cash or fancy clothes. Occasionally I would get a free meal, but that was if we went out in public. Most of the time, it was something that happened in secret. A secret is what I was, a secret is what I became for years because, there was something about me. Something about me that he didn't want the world to know about. I'm not fat, I'm not ugly. I'm actually a well liked individual. But something about me had to remain behind closed doors. I never found out what that something was. To me now that I think about it, it's a blessing and a curse that I don't know.
So why am I revealing that I was once a side chick? Because I'm wanting to let you know that this type of behavior isn't cool. It's not going to lead to a happy ending. In fact, it just adds to your problems. I had a friend (we are no longer friends) who did this. She had an affair with a married man. He left his wife for her. They ended up with a blended family. Well they had children (a product of their affair) and one of the babies (she was pregnant with twins) died. The other baby almost didn't make it. Their marriage produced more problems than happiness. And to make matters worse, her now husband was frequently unfaithful. She in turn started having affairs of her own as well to get back at him. All while raising multiple children and trying to have a rocky marriage. I don't know what will happen with this couple if they will even make it. I had to distance myself from all of the drama because that's exactly what happens when you start off wrong. God doesn't bless a mess.
An example of this is the story of King David. David had an affair with Bathsheba. She was married to one of his top warriors. David got Bathsheba pregnant. He tried to have her cover the affair by sleeping with her husband again, but that didn't work. In order to cover the pregnancy, he had her husband killed. He married Bathsheba, but when their child was born, the child died soon after. David's house was never the same after that. You can't try to right a wrong with another wrong. God loves you so much and he wants so much more for you. You shouldn't play second string to someone else when there is someone out there for you.
You still aren't convinced huh? Well I'll let you in on something. I played that role off and on for almost 7 years. During that time because I wanted a relationship, I missed out on several relationships. It wasn't until I finally stopped that behavior that God blessed me with what I had been wanting all that time. I met the guy I plan on marrying. I'm no longer someone's second choice, but his first choice. I know that he doesn't have someone else on the side, and he's not trying to replace me either. It's a wonderful feeling because I know that considering where I have been and what I have went thru, it's amazing to know that I will have a happy ending.
You can too. Ladies, I encourage you to realize your worth. You are worth so much more than fancy clothes, money or even a trip. Your body is a temple and should be treated as such. God will bless you with all you desire if you go to Him. He will reward you and bring you someone who will love him and you so much. Yes it's possible. You can have happiness like that. You can have happiness like I'm experiencing now with my someone....
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