The Single Mom Chronicles~ Moving on...
When we last left off, I had told Mike that I was pregnant. He was happy about it. So I thought. He actually was scared to death and instead of telling me that...he RAN! I didn't see him again for 18 months. During that time I had a beautiful baby boy named Devon. Raised him as a single parent until his father and I reconciled. Devon and I moved cross country to be a family with his father. I literally gave up EVERYTHING in order to be with Mike. Exactly one month after I moved in, I found out that Mike had not one, not two, not three, but at least 6 different women running around. We tried to work it out (literally tried for 10 months to work thru this mess). During that time, we fought, and fought and fought. Drama with his family, drama with my family (because I moved with the first grandchild in my family). During this dramatic time, I got pregnant with my daughter Mariah. Mike and I broke up and I moved back home to my family with one baby and one on the way. Had my baby girl and have been a single mom ever since.
That was literally 9 years ago. I thought during that time that life couldn't get any worse. I was exactly back where I didn't want to be, which was a single mom doing it alone. I landed on my feet...eventually. I moved back and got an apartment and a job to support myself and my kids. I was okay, but I had something unexpected happen. I had a sick baby girl who required LOTS of medical attention. That wasn't in the equation and that required me to take off of work. That cost me two jobs in less than a year and eventually I ended up losing my apartment. So now I had to move back home in order to have a roof for myself and my babies. Life couldn't get any worse right?
Mike and I weren't getting along and he wasn't exactly trying to get along. He wasn't exactly trying to see the kids during that time either. In fact because he was in the military, he would use that as a reason he couldn't see them. Sometimes he had a valid excuse (deployment being one of them). But for the most part, he just wasn't. So we would fight over that and child support. I took him to court and got the max amount. Life started to get a little easier. A little bit. I had to lean on family a lot because working and trying to go to school and being Mommy is more than a full time job. It's a full time job with overtime EVERYDAY and no extra pay.
Life is easier now. I'm still a single mom, but I'm in a better living situation. I no longer live with family and I have my own HOUSE! My kids are now 11 and 9 years old. They have turned out to be two very smart and well rounded kids. Their father and I get a long better now, but we still have our moments of drama. I'm also now involved in a very serious relationship with a wonderful man. A man who loves me just as much as I love him. Life is still hard at times, but it's changing for the better. I'm doing lots of things differently now compared to what I did years ago.
Studying the WORD is one of them. Going to church and being active is another. Having a daily prayer life is also essential to where I am now. Without God none of this would've been possible. I'm now a stay at home mom working on her own business. I'm also now working on several different goals and I also homeschool my children. I'm actually in an ideal situation compared to where I was years ago. I'm not on state assistance, I'm not depending on family to make ends meet. I'm doing it! And I owe it all to my Heavenly Father. He didn't leave me when I thought that everything was crumbling around me. He didn't leave my baby when she was deathly ill. He's been there throughout it all.
I write this to show you that life can be extremely challenging. I never in a million years thought that I would be a single parent. In all my planning of things that wasn't on the list at all. Now I understand why it was drilled into my head to wait until marriage to have sex. It does make things just a little bit easier when you have two people running the show versus one. Knowing what I know now all I can do going forward is to teach my children not to make the same mistakes that I did. I know that they aren't me, but I also know that they need to know what could happen and make an informed decision.
Moving on...
Moving on is what I had to do in order to get where I am today. Moving on is what most of you need to do in order to get where you want to be. Easier said than done though right. It was hard to move on emotionally after being deeply hurt. It was hard moving on when I had no money and had bills to pay. And it was definitely hard moving on when I didn't want to move. But you can't grow if you don't move on from what is stifling your growth. During all this mess I was seriously feeling sorry for myself. I actually fell into a depression and due to this depression I gained 70 pounds! I had also started getting myself into relationships that I had no business being in. I didn't bring these relationships around my kids, but it was my little secret that I hid from everyone. I was having sex to cover up what I was feeling which was hurt and lonely. I felt good physically but I was so alone that it was terrifying to me. Relying on texting of random guys just so I could feel like I was worth something. A bad cycle that by the grace of God I came out of with no unwanted pregnancies and no STDS.
I got myself together, but it was a long road to recovery. I started reading self help books and I started practicing celibacy. Guys didn't like that so eventually they stopped calling and texting me. Lonely I was but not the same way. I was lonely for physical companions and that was because being horny does that to you! Eventually that went away as well. I started realizing my own self worth and I started losing weight. I started changing up my looks and realizing that I was valuable and worth MORE. When I started getting myself together, other things started falling into place. I ended up moving into my own house, I got a job that I loved, I was stable with my kids and child support was increased again! (Yes I mentioned that because as part of the changes, Mike and I were getting along better and he actually was willing to help support the kids more financially because I was doing better.) Life was GREAT!
My point in this post is to let you know that God is there..yesterday...today and FOREVER. He is always waiting on you to acknowledge and ask him for help. I was running from him even during my worst times in my life. He understood that I needed time and I got what I needed, but I did't get what I wanted until I started acknowledging and putting HIM first. And once I figured that out, I got exactly what I needed and wanted. No I'm not talking about all the money in the world, or not to be able to gain weight again, I'm talking about what God says I needed and want. (Phillipians 4:13)
Just a few things....
My podcasts (yes podcasts) are currently playing on the Spreaker network and on iTunes. My personal show is called Hanging with Ms. Cooper. My show with my co-host (and boyfriend) Lucas Cool is called "The Closer We Get".
We have launched our own website! http://inspiring19.wix.com/inspiringconnections
There you will find our links to our podcasts, news about the show and our upcoming products
"You weren't expecting that!"
Ms. Cooper
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| Devon & Mariah |
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| Mariah & Devon w/Me! |
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